when happy turns sad

Sha granddad passed away tis evening.. may he rest in peace... Let us pray to Allah that he will be among the ulama' there... Al Fatihah..

to sha: There are many obstacles in life, one of it is death.. you are one of the strongest person i have known, but for today and the rest please2 be strong... we will b there when u needed us.. insyaAllah.. your loss is also our loss...

life and data warehousing

one overly focused flower... the picture was taken to make the single flower stand out from the rest. Somehow, it turned vice versa. Did it ever occurred to you that you are too focused in life that you never stop and let things crumble upon you?

In life, you need to stop and enjoy the scenery. With that, you can be freshly focused in your goal. dice your view, so that you can see the different side of your life. slice up your cube life to see what is actually inside. rolled up the past and you will summarized what is good and whats not. drill down to memory lane so that you wont forget beautiful memories.

mistakes

my name is hurt. I have always been in dejah's heart. all i did was blackened her heart and make a deep hole inside her. Its been 6-7 years i have not activate myself. Now im going to.. aint she stupid to repeat the same mistakes over and over again.. i guess she is.. last 7 years she had been hurt and now again she is hurt. im soo happy since im alive again. i dont giv a damn about her and her life... she is in deep shit and all i care is my wellbeing.. i am hurt and i live in dejah..
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I am dejah.. for thousands times i have been hurt.. most of it was by people i cared and loved soo much.. why didnt i learnt from past? why did i gave my whole heart to be with someone whom i know will slashed my throat and leave me struggling to stay alive?? why and why... im in deep shit... forgave me for my language..

a day with thoughts...

was it hard to shift from THE comfort zone to another zone which you never know whether it is for good or for worse?? a friend of mine did shift from one stage to another... her action make me scared of looking forward... knowing this society and aunts and uncles and cousins, i know that i have to take a step away from my chldhood. thought of the society: after study, u need to find work and start building your life and 'our' life.. thought of families(uncles n aunts n couzs): now its time to get married..gilos okehh.. my uncles and aunts keep on asking when is your turn dear??. its all started when the sis got married.. haihhh i am still figuring out how to love myself and they are keen to ask me to love others? i mean seriously, i am only 22 years old. life is too young to get settled.. i still have hundreds of craving to do/eat before the 'm' word.. I want to travel around the world, pay for ayahs n mum shopping and expenses, having the freedom to do anything and everything.. yeah thats all i want.. i knoe that 'm' wont h0ld you back from everything you wanted to be but for me it is... permissions to be asked and attitude to be straighten is soo not my style.. yer laaaa i hav huge voice(ejat dok complaint ok)... was i ready to take the step? was i even ready to give my heart to any him? the answer NO.. soo aunts, uncles, couzs and society, please stop asking wen im getting 'm'rd...

** erk tis post is not suitable for people who are getting married and thinking of getting married..**

a day with full of plans....

but will i able to do all in one day?? hu hu ...

penings..

im sooo stuck!! i hav received an offer letter from the U n the registration date is this friday.. but but.. i'm on a training n being paid for having it.. what shuld i do? accept it or not? huuuuu huuuuuuuuuuu

something stupid and sumthing smelly...prepare yourself for the worse..

when did u do a serious thinking?
mine would be when im cleaning the dishes, in the loo where you dont have anything to do, before i go to sleep.. this is the time where i would think about my future, my life and my past.

my future:
what company to apply, which job to search, where can i find money to help my parent, when will my dad..., who is my future husband(long list i have in my hand.. mcdreamy, mc steamy, jack sparrow(dont ask me why),a doctor, an architect, him(he is outta my league..)). when i do dishes, this would come up.. sometimes i would dream and sometimes i would cry but never i laugh..ye laa gile ke ape, tgh2 mlm basuh pinggan tibe2 gelak... naya wooo..

my life..
before i go to sleep, i would think about this.. this will help me sleep or not!! this one scares the hell outta me... ye laa nothing big ever happened in my life...i mean something that can turn my life upside down.. haihh.. i only see my life as half empty cup.. keep on counting when to finish it off.. haihh!!

my past..
now this one is a really smelly thinking.. ahahhaa..did u get wut i mean?? ehehhee.. but seriously, there are no other perfect moment to recap whats in my past book... time tuh laa nk senyum2, nk malu2, nk nangis2 pn ade gakk, nk gelak kecik2 pn ade..hi hi hi.. dlm bilik seorg dirikn, bley laa buat camtuh... sheeshh im such a wenk person...

sooo, just think... where and where actually u think about those stuff? on the way to the office, dok dlm blk seorg diri or like me?? ehehe...

something of sumthing...

Your Birthdate: October 10

Independent and dominant, you tend to be the alpha dog in most situations. You're very confident, and hardly anything ever shakes you. Mundane tasks tend to drain you - you prefer to be making great plans. You are quite original. When people don't "get" you, it bothers you a lot. Your strength: Your ability to gain respect Your weakness: Caring too much what others think Your power color: Orange-red Your power symbol: Letter X Your power month: October

visit here to find urs : is this real or not? be your own judge

yaynes to me.. im goin to watch ocean 13 n shrek tmoroow... lalalalala~~

back to form 3

soooo i heard starcraft 2 is coming out soon.. where is my bro when he is in need? during my high school year, I was very close to my older brother than my sister. She was way back in Kedah at that time. Whatever game he played, i played. at that time, he was working at a cyber cafe. he introduce me with starcraft and plus its the original one.. weeeehuuuuu!! Instead of studying, i turn my passion into that game.. My other brother and i would use hand n feet just to determine whose playing first. It would take hours n hours to play and lots of skills to win.. whoever lose the fight would sulk and sit quietly beside the winner... dont ever ask me who won the fight.. At dinnertime, we would discuss on how to reach next level soo on soo forth.. my mum geleng kepale jer laaa at that time... at class, when the boys are talking bout the game, i would silently smile and laugh.. har har har, i have sooo passed that level.. lembabnyer korang... cheyy blagakk laa plak at that time.. when they talked about secret cheat code, where u can easily go to next level with the code, I was like 'helllloooooooooo been there done that!!' somehow it slipped my huge mouth to the guys... diorgpn ape lagi nk challenge laaa kn... on the day they were suppose to ask me for a duel, i was actually on leave.. mase tuh mls nk pi skolah.. my mum pn mls nk dgr me whining.. ehhehe.. too bad they never ask me again.. if not it would soo cool to play with em...
sooo now, i am sooo hoping that my married with one kiddo brother would buy the original SC2.. Which would be sooo in my dream sbb nanti my sis in law bising... abg!! bli laaa SC2, I hav no money to buy... Boemar pn dah x men dah gem gem nieh!! please laaa abg... ehehehe mcm laaa die dgr or bace... he is too busy preparing himself for aussie.. Abg nk roxy satu!! another dream of mine!! guys mmg susah nk shopping2 nie... haihh!!!

news n more news

Truth:
im broke..its just 6 days of june, n im already broke..
Cry:
I cry wen my money keep on saying goodbyes... tsskk tssskkk tsskkk
Lie:
I am soo damn rich that i can buy my own movenpick...
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Sooo yesterday was Green Day.. not the green day the band, its Green as in colour day.. yesterday everyone was supposed to help all the greenies to survive in the world full of green eater n green destroyer.. ciann all the greenies.. suke suke jer org2 tebang die.. its are innocent tau.. I remember years back i was in high school. i was in this club call kelab pencinta alam.. there stuff we do to help the greenies survive. we recycle, i myself plant some greenies, we create something from recycled stuff and we loooooooooveeeeeeeee greens. ok actually the last one is on me.. ehehe. seriously, we need parks full of greenies so that we can relax.. tho at nite it would steal the oxygen from us but come on... u will feel at peace when u saw greens right? am i right? everybody say yes please!!! ehehehe.. soo guys, plant one green a year, n in ten years time, ur house would be cooles place on earth provided that u take care of the greens after u plant it. LOVE GREEENS, and eat more greens.. its are good for you...
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our PM getting married to Jeanne Abdullah? i tot i heard the news wrong but for sure its the truth.. i read it in star just now.. lets read more on the wedding...
" The akad nikah ceremony, to be attended by close family members only, will be held at the Prime Minister's official residence at Seri Perdana here, according to a statement issued by the Prime Minister's Office on Wednesday."
aaawww another super duper extra vagant wedding... but my heart was not crushed this time around.. ehehhe, i weep when Perak's most eligible bachelor wed a chemical engineer... sooo gotta search for new eligible bachelor cz urs truly is soooo bored without someone to adore... ehehehe...
-roger n out-