you have wasted my tears

sakit hati sampai nangis. boleh?

pandanganmu penuh misteri

we have the night to ourselves. we talk without barriers and without listeners other than us. Im grateful. To drive a loong way at night and to meet such a good friend. One of us is leaving but not me. Im scared to look at future. I suck in keeping long distance friendship. I have lost one and I dont intend to lose another one. what will be the future of us, i asked. neither of us replied. we left the questions unanswered for the night. Will you answer for us? I dont know whether the other of 'us' read on this. but i hope the other will. I just wish that we will become as close as this in future. but i doubt it. forgive me as for i have lost faith. on you and this friendship. but i do hope that you didnt. email me or sms me so i wont stray away. Calls wont bring you good. I know your reason. This is me and i sucked at saying goodbye. Others will said "till we meet again". but im here speechless.

how i love monday.

if you read my post before, i think you will remember the day i fell on my butt, i accidentally wish diana 2 days earlier and i blabbered to her about her surprise. hmmphhhh... soo another mishap mournday happen. fasten your seat belt and lets read through.

soo smite and gment are unintelligent enough that when they build a building that can squeeze in 500 people but only can have 100++ carparks in it. gile x? gile gile. due to this we for the past few weeks we went hiking to hunt for some meat and vegetables. One fine monday, the place where we used to pass through is filled with mud. imagine:macam di sawah, selepas org membajak menggunakan lembu. Imagine: a paddy field in middle of cosmopolitant building. When i saw the place, i squeaked " lets go back.i dont think i can get through this" they as in my friend as in Siti and Sue decided to go ahead. Yes i'm clumsy, yes i tend to lose balance even when the surface is flat. My foot managed to kiss the puddle of mud goodbye. Habis selipar kesayanganku basah. So the journey is still on. Jalan jalan sambil membeli makanan. i like shopping. :P. For the moment i forgot about what is ahead.

Perjalanan Balik.
Disebabkan saya tidak mahu selipar dibasahkan lagi, i tried to find a new path to walk. Sue and Siti already have 5 steps ahead from me. hmmmmm... atfirst i tried to use the right lane, but the land is not stable enough. So i decided to go with left lane. when the foot just about to place itself on the ground, i found out that the its a wrong choice of lane and thennnnn yes everyone, my foot is now an ankle deep. waaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa shucks, the oooey goeey mud is sliding next to my skin. eeeuuwww eeeuuwwww.I called Siti and Sue for the rescue mission. They grab both of my hand and started to pull me out. One slipper stuck in the mud. ok ok i can still do it. i can get out from this mud pool. yes i can owh im sure. another pull and my other slipper got stuck in the mud. yes im barefooted. I was about to cry cz my favourite slipper went down under laa. sadis. i went back with no slipper and mud all over my feet. I decided to go back home which is 20 minutes far if i drive like mad girl. owh well i did. Change into jeans and sped to the office. why did i come to work after all that, because i need to complete a certification which i "happily" register for it.

conclusion: right lane is the best path. always choose right. dont wear your most faved slippers to go hiking. last but not least, just forget about lunch when you have a paddy field lies infront of you.

How will i know....

There’s a boy I know,
he’s the one I dream of
Looks into my eyes,
takes me to the clouds above
Ooh I lose control,
can’t seem to get enough
When I wake from dreaming,
tell me is it really love

Chorus:
How will I know (don’t trust your feelings)
How will I know
How will I know (love can be deceiving)
How will I know
How will I know if he really loves me
I say a prayer with every heart beat
I fall in love whenever we meet
I’m asking you what you know about these things
How will I know if he’s thinking of me
I try to phone but I’m too shy (can’t speak)
Falling in love is all bitter sweet
This love is strong why do I feel weak
Oh, wake me, I’m shaking, wish I had you near me now
Said there’s no mistaking,
what I feel is really love

If he loves me, if he loves me not (3x)

whitney's song.i guess its the same thing what im feeling right now, only that im not that good enough to show it or to write it. so? If he loves me, if he loves me not?????

kini terpulang pada kau....

aku dan dia hanya kawan,
kenapa kau masih sangsi,
aku anggap dia saudaraku,
apa masih kau tak mengerti

penat,aku tak mampu
lalu aku tak peduli
aku biarkan kau
bersama fikiran kau sendiri

biarlah kau.biarlah aku.
rapat denganku jika kau percaya,
jauhi aku jika kau termakan duri
hanya itu mampu aku katakan

a simple [dot] would be enough

hmmm still at the office.. rajinkah? memang tak laaa kan.. have to.terpaksa. penat. its been 2 days dah like this. yesterday i went crazy and take pl/sql exam... at the same time, senior assign me to another project. Benci, i didnt strive for the best answer. Hate, saya tak siapkan kerja. yesterday ends with a failure.hu hu hu. today? when i was about to start on my work, rakan sekerja menghantar surat paling manis sekali untuk meminta pertolongan. end up it took the whole day. Kerja saya? PENDING LAGI!!!! how to reply to onsite? entahla. Acapkali i want to give up. Tapi my sane friends help me through. Terima kasih kepada yang terlibat secara langsung dan tidak langsung.. Tired.semalam tak tido. risau pasal sesuatu yang mungkin berlaku. mungkin aje. bukan bakal. senyum? hari ini, sempatlah berkali kali tersenyum. senyum sorang2 pn ade. am crazy? no laaah. cuma teringat. pasal apa? malu lah nk cerita. bila mungkin terjadi, maka mungkin bercerita. tapi semuanya mungkin.
ku berharap pada mungkin.

a dedicated post

I have tried but both of you seeming nonchalant by it. I just rest my case. It will be up to you and you only to solve this.






but i wonder, for how long?

way before i got my hands full

I shout: handsome man alert!! he said " asal mate coklat, rambut blonde, kulit putih je hensem"...hi hi hi.. well that’s yours truly, will whoott whoot over white man... but then, I am not usually surrounded with whites.. more to grayish or brownish.. its 2:49pm, time where myself n lala have a chat to kill the boredom. suddenly I saw him in next cubicle. my heart thumping out loud and I think he could have heard it. shuuushhh heart, don’t make it too obvious.. instead of business chat I typed "oooo guess what.. the only mamat putih kt sini ade kt sebelah" and started to gossiping about him. Suddenly, he came next to me, behind my back and stop there for few second... OMG!!!!! I need to minimize the window.. errr how to do it? errrr damn damn could he read it? er er i cant smell any perfumme on him.. probably coz of my perfume is hovering my nose.. I startled at first but somehow,I managed to turn my head to him and see him picking up my phone and listen to the tone... my hands couldn’t move, my eyes are all over his face, my heart making the noisiest sound ever(I think I need to see doctor love.. ahahaahaa) and I felt like my body is rigid..tak boleh gerakkk!!! he then moves to next cubicle.. at that moment I remember............ there is rumors on his marital status.. he is gay.. nahh too good to be true..hehehe.. he’s married!!! adoiii... I guess awa would say, Waaa mamat ensem dh ilang satu~!!!!!!!

p/s: i wrote this story like more than one year ago. kihkih kih..now hes gone dahhh.

kleenex vs. royal gold

bencilaaaaaaah. i feel sooo stupid td. since the whole morning ive been searching for a particular song in my playlist(ye i have loads of songs). keep on fastfwd unwanted songs, until suddenly the name popped. I braved myself to hear the song and i ended up with tears in my eyes. super malu. depan pc kt office yg xde privasi langsung. urrggghh this stupid song. It brings back memories that i have buried deeply like more than 6 feet under. tapi sewenangnyer ia menjelma.haihhh. Bencilaaaa. konon konon im a strong woman laaaa. macam lagu stronger from britney lembing ituh.... tetapi, emotion shift from im-strong to stupid-me. bengong!

p/s: no questions please. dah tak nangis dah lepas dengar lagu klux klux adventure. chomel laaaaa.

erghhhhh

Please KILL all lovey doey songs just for today and tomorrow. please.... everytime i hear that song i would cry. No its not cz of valentines or the fact that im single yet not sure whether ready to mingle or not.its just something else. soo please?if you can't kill then hide it. pretty please?


note:on 14th marks her one year. she should be waiting for her spm result right now.Please take a minute to pray for her well being.thanks.