How will i know....

There’s a boy I know,
he’s the one I dream of
Looks into my eyes,
takes me to the clouds above
Ooh I lose control,
can’t seem to get enough
When I wake from dreaming,
tell me is it really love

Chorus:
How will I know (don’t trust your feelings)
How will I know
How will I know (love can be deceiving)
How will I know
How will I know if he really loves me
I say a prayer with every heart beat
I fall in love whenever we meet
I’m asking you what you know about these things
How will I know if he’s thinking of me
I try to phone but I’m too shy (can’t speak)
Falling in love is all bitter sweet
This love is strong why do I feel weak
Oh, wake me, I’m shaking, wish I had you near me now
Said there’s no mistaking,
what I feel is really love

If he loves me, if he loves me not (3x)

whitney's song.i guess its the same thing what im feeling right now, only that im not that good enough to show it or to write it. so? If he loves me, if he loves me not?????

kini terpulang pada kau....

aku dan dia hanya kawan,
kenapa kau masih sangsi,
aku anggap dia saudaraku,
apa masih kau tak mengerti

penat,aku tak mampu
lalu aku tak peduli
aku biarkan kau
bersama fikiran kau sendiri

biarlah kau.biarlah aku.
rapat denganku jika kau percaya,
jauhi aku jika kau termakan duri
hanya itu mampu aku katakan

a simple [dot] would be enough

hmmm still at the office.. rajinkah? memang tak laaa kan.. have to.terpaksa. penat. its been 2 days dah like this. yesterday i went crazy and take pl/sql exam... at the same time, senior assign me to another project. Benci, i didnt strive for the best answer. Hate, saya tak siapkan kerja. yesterday ends with a failure.hu hu hu. today? when i was about to start on my work, rakan sekerja menghantar surat paling manis sekali untuk meminta pertolongan. end up it took the whole day. Kerja saya? PENDING LAGI!!!! how to reply to onsite? entahla. Acapkali i want to give up. Tapi my sane friends help me through. Terima kasih kepada yang terlibat secara langsung dan tidak langsung.. Tired.semalam tak tido. risau pasal sesuatu yang mungkin berlaku. mungkin aje. bukan bakal. senyum? hari ini, sempatlah berkali kali tersenyum. senyum sorang2 pn ade. am crazy? no laaah. cuma teringat. pasal apa? malu lah nk cerita. bila mungkin terjadi, maka mungkin bercerita. tapi semuanya mungkin.
ku berharap pada mungkin.

a dedicated post

I have tried but both of you seeming nonchalant by it. I just rest my case. It will be up to you and you only to solve this.






but i wonder, for how long?

way before i got my hands full

I shout: handsome man alert!! he said " asal mate coklat, rambut blonde, kulit putih je hensem"...hi hi hi.. well that’s yours truly, will whoott whoot over white man... but then, I am not usually surrounded with whites.. more to grayish or brownish.. its 2:49pm, time where myself n lala have a chat to kill the boredom. suddenly I saw him in next cubicle. my heart thumping out loud and I think he could have heard it. shuuushhh heart, don’t make it too obvious.. instead of business chat I typed "oooo guess what.. the only mamat putih kt sini ade kt sebelah" and started to gossiping about him. Suddenly, he came next to me, behind my back and stop there for few second... OMG!!!!! I need to minimize the window.. errr how to do it? errrr damn damn could he read it? er er i cant smell any perfumme on him.. probably coz of my perfume is hovering my nose.. I startled at first but somehow,I managed to turn my head to him and see him picking up my phone and listen to the tone... my hands couldn’t move, my eyes are all over his face, my heart making the noisiest sound ever(I think I need to see doctor love.. ahahaahaa) and I felt like my body is rigid..tak boleh gerakkk!!! he then moves to next cubicle.. at that moment I remember............ there is rumors on his marital status.. he is gay.. nahh too good to be true..hehehe.. he’s married!!! adoiii... I guess awa would say, Waaa mamat ensem dh ilang satu~!!!!!!!

p/s: i wrote this story like more than one year ago. kihkih kih..now hes gone dahhh.

kleenex vs. royal gold

bencilaaaaaaah. i feel sooo stupid td. since the whole morning ive been searching for a particular song in my playlist(ye i have loads of songs). keep on fastfwd unwanted songs, until suddenly the name popped. I braved myself to hear the song and i ended up with tears in my eyes. super malu. depan pc kt office yg xde privasi langsung. urrggghh this stupid song. It brings back memories that i have buried deeply like more than 6 feet under. tapi sewenangnyer ia menjelma.haihhh. Bencilaaaa. konon konon im a strong woman laaaa. macam lagu stronger from britney lembing ituh.... tetapi, emotion shift from im-strong to stupid-me. bengong!

p/s: no questions please. dah tak nangis dah lepas dengar lagu klux klux adventure. chomel laaaaa.

erghhhhh

Please KILL all lovey doey songs just for today and tomorrow. please.... everytime i hear that song i would cry. No its not cz of valentines or the fact that im single yet not sure whether ready to mingle or not.its just something else. soo please?if you can't kill then hide it. pretty please?


note:on 14th marks her one year. she should be waiting for her spm result right now.Please take a minute to pray for her well being.thanks.

am a piece of crap.care to be friend with me?

i should have not planned. I should have ignore it. because when i have not planned it and i have ignore it, my heart wont bleed this much. thanks much to a friend and i missed the whole thing. my heart easily bruised now, incase you didnt notice. well ofcourse you didnt. you didnt even know what is happening to me. should i come to cry on your shoulder just to show that i have a problem? such a bullshit.

when my heart cant take it, its time to let this loose. owh well i did, metaphorically speaking.

if you think this post is for you, well it is. im not going to apologize bcz you had hurt me in both world. it is time for me not to care about others and mend my broken heart.

cRaVingS...

hmmm how lah? i really2 want to eat mcd, but right now i must support the boikot so that childrens from that particular place could live just the way i used to lived when i was at their age. haihh... to substitute mcd with burger king or wendy's or even carl's will not satisfy my hunger for mcd. more it wouldnt help soo much since all of its are from there. haih haihh.. anyone got a recipe which similar to mcd's chilli sauce?? huwaaaaa my chilli stock at home finish already.waaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa..

One Fine Day

Scene 1.
I saw the person of interest in one huge shopping mall walking with some girl I have known through a friend. Suddenly i feel like i'm the tiniest bug and about to be squashed by a gigantic hand. eh no make it a foot. quickly i shoved my sister away from them.

Scene 2.
I sat on a trolly like a sore-feet-loser because i have a sore feet. While talking to my sister, my eyes glaze all over to find a humanbeing interesting enough to be stalk. Unlucky, my glance falls on the couple. I was about to hide my giant size body among the crowd but reality hits me. no actually it is more on one particular long item from a cart in front of me. I stand up and trying to forget everything in reality. Coincidence, for me to face my sister, i had to turn about 30 degree to the left and there he was standing at next door counter. my heart stop for 0.0001 second.

Epilogue.
I purposely focus my eyes on my sister rather than at the back of her head. With some blurry vision of background i think i saw him look at me. Probably waiting for me to notice him and say hi. I did nothing. I make him invisible in order for me not to feel invisible. I check out the counter and walk as fast as i can with higher-than-mountain dignity.

note: this is who i am when i saw someone i adore from afar. When i really like a person, i tend get as far as i can from him. Yes i know im a loser who dont know when to grab a possible good opportunity. haihh!